Don’t you wish you could ban certain people?
So there’s this one actor, let’s call him Mr. Poopwood, who I just cannot stand. Every cell in my body goes on strike when he comes on. I refuse to smile. I refuse to be nice. I am barely even able to be civil.
Now it’s hard to even remember why and when this hatred began. But as far as I recall, he was late for an audition once. It was the end of a particularly hectic day and he was one of the last people on the schedule. So we were waiting around for him to show up so we could wrap tape and get the hell out of there and go home. After 20 or 30 minutes, I called his agent to find out if he was coming. His agent, whom I adore, said she would place a few calls to find out his status.
A few minutes later, he showed up. The first words out of his mouth were, “Why’d you call my agent?!”
“Because you were more than 20 minutes late, Mr. Poopwood.”
“No I wasn’t.”
“Uh… yes you were.”
“No I wasn’t. You should be more careful. Looks like I busted you. You are so busted for not doing what you’re supposed to. Watch out or I’ll make you lose your job.”
Uh, whatever you piece-of-shit actor. As if!
It’s bad enough when someone is late but when you show up late and deny the fact, and then accost me with rudeness instead of apologizing even if you think you’re being funny?! Fuck you.
So, ever since then (it was about a year ago) I cringe whenever he’s scheduled for an audition and I whine at Jacob for giving him an appointment.
My hatred for Mr. Poopwood is so great and well-known that in the mornings of the day he’s scheduled, I merely have to say with a groan, “Guess who’s coming in today?” to Bob the Badman Badway (a camera operator) for him to promptly respond with a laugh, “Mr. Poopwood?”
This morning, Jacob printed out tomorrow’s schedule and guess who was on it?! My favorite. Grrreat. So I bitch and moan and try to convince Jacob of all the reasons why Mr. Poopwood should be banned to no avail.
“But Jacob, he should be blacklisted! Come on!”
Nope.
And then, sweet retribution. Karma is on my side. This afternoon, the agency or production company decided to change the specs and told us to cancel any appointments we’d scheduled for people no longer fitting the new specs.
I was somewhat annoyed thinking I’d now have to cancel a zillion people and make a bajillion phone calls, but nope. There was just one person no longer fitting the specs. POOPWOOD! HA! Take that you stupid ass.
Someone is watching over me today. I must’ve done something right.
Thank you.
