Random Occurances & Traffic Reports

I went to Laguna Beach last night to visit with Jim Libecco, a high school friend in town for the weekend for a conference.  My good friend, Sonia, who lives down there joined us at The Montage, where Jim was staying.  LOVE that hotel.  Beautiful, although the entertainer needs to do something about her/his hair.

On my way there, I somehow got on route 73 and as it turns out IT’S A FREAKING TOLL ROAD!  I have never seen a toll road in California.  I’ve paid to go over bridges in San Fran, but toll roads??!  It cost me $4.00 to go 2 miles on the 73.  Bullshit is what it is.

And by the way, I needed gas DESPERATELY and saw that I was near Fashion Island (a huge and spectacularly divine shopping center) so I drove towards it looking for a gas station.  I went around and around and NOTHING!  Thank goodness Sonia answered my frantic phone call and had a quick answer as to where I could find a God-forsaken gas station in the middle of nothing but retail locations.  I should give you all her number because if it’s a question about anything relating to shopping or shopping areas, she will always have the answer.

On the way home, I took the 133  (Laguna Canyon Road) to the 405 North through dangerous, life-threatening fog.  Wow - it was beautiful but not at night when you’re driving winding canyon one-lane roads.  I was a bit scared.  You know it’s serious when you find ME driving less than the speed limit.  Whoah.  All I kept thinking was that if someone in the oncoming traffic decided to drive that road drunk or worse yet, if they were suicidal, I was a goner.  I pictured the state of my affairs after my passing and I just want to say that Pauline, you can have all my shoes and purses.  Madhavi, you can have all my cds.  Dan, you can have my dvds.  Betina, you can have my car (sorry to hear about your accident.)  Brad, you can have my books, sudoku puzzles and anything else you want.

Anyways, Jim loves visiting California.  He comes here fairly frequently for conferences and they always put him up in the nicest places - so what’s not to love?  Plus, he’s coming from freezing, snowy Ohio to SoCal weather and is totally won over.  He would call U-Haul tomorrow and pack his shit and go if only the wife would agree.  I think we should start a letter writing campaign to convince his wife to move here.  Please join me in my efforts by sending Jim and Julia a message to iamuwere@ameritech.net

Driving on the 101 North/West this morning, I passed an amber alert sign which read "101 West Jammed From Balboa To Topanga Canyon."  I thought, "Grrrrrrrreat…"

I was going with the flow of traffic, between 75 and 80 mph, and was mentally bracing myself for the parking lot which was inevitably around each corner, but - nothing!  I made it all the way to Malibu and never did I see even any slowing of cars much less a traffic jam!  All of a sudden I felt relieved and realized what a good mood I was in with the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.

I think when you’re prepared for the worst and anything better than the worst happens, you’re always pleasantly surprised.  Maybe we should always prepare for the worst.  Maybe that’s the secret of life. 

Maybe Chicago O’Hare should’ve told us all that all the flights were canceled for 3 days and that all the hotels were booked up and that we’d have to fight the homeless people for a spot on the sidewalk on which to plop our asses and luggage down for the next 3 days.  Maybe then we would have all been a lot happier when all we had to endure was an extra 7 hours of stress in that airport and a super late arrival into our final destinations.

I’m another year older and just back from a fabulous vacation with Brad. We were in Prague and Copenhagen until yesterday.

Prague was gorgeous, quaint and old. Some highlights included the bartender of a tiny little pub who didn’t speak much English. When I tried to ask him why the beggars there lie down on the freezing cold cobblestone with their hands above their heads, he thought I was telling him there was a beggar outside his door and he hurried out there to get rid of him. Another highlight included our night at the Prague State Opera to see The Magic Flute. Brad and I have decided that we love the opera although that evening was quite an ordeal. It was really hot and we were pinching each other to not give into our jetlag and fall asleep. The Franz Kafka museum was strange, at best. And we absolutely LOVED the Charles Bridge - its statues, its vendors, its musicians, all of it.

Copenhagen was snowy and lovely. It was great seeing the family. Brad is learning Danish. One morning at breakfast my step-dad, Martin, was pressing on the marmalade lids thereby making a small popping noise. We then taught Brad the expression, ‘knald i låget’ which literally means ‘bang in the lid’ and figuratively is used to call someone crazy. Brad learned another “useful” expression late one night when two teenaged boys discovered the dismal fact that they (as well as we) had missed the last bus and there were no taxis around. They exclaimed, “Det er noget tæmelig meget pikke-lort,” which means, “That’s such a lot of dick-shit!” Now if Brad could just learn how to order a beer, we’ll be all set. At least he can say, “Jeg skal tisse,” which means, “I have to pee.”

Our trip home was eventful. We arrived at O’Hare at 5:00pm and were supposed to depart on a flight to LA at 7:00pm (Chicago time) which was changed to 8:00pm and then delayed until 8:45pm. Around the time we were supposed to depart, we still hadn’t even started boarding. Then they cancelled the flight. We were in many lines and on the phone with reservations, as were hundreds of other people. In short, we miraculously caught the last flight out on stand-by by the skin of our teeth and with all the delays did not get back to my house and into bed until 5:00am LA time. By then it was 2:00pm Copenhagen time and we’d been in transit for 27 hours.

We miss Denmark and can’t wait to go back but are looking forward to seeing all of you here in the states so that we can bore you with vacation slides and what-not. Give us a call and we’ll set up the projector!